But not very busy updating the website. So sorry. We had 2 graduations to celebrate, our 8th grader, who is headed to Notre Dame Prep, my alma mater, in the fall in my old uniform, and our senior, who is headed to Savannah College of Art and Design (SCAD). We had all the end of the year celebrations, including prom, and then a big graduation party so it felt like we were running at 100 mph non stop for a while. Because, of course we celebrated Easter, Mother's Day, our 25th college reunion, Father's Day and Pride in there too. But finally, fingers crossed, things have settled down a bit, and we are getting excited for a little vacation in Sanibel Island, FL.
I continue to heal my relationship with food and am encouraging my daughters, especially Mia, to do the same.
I feel like I need to say thank you! For hanging in there with me, through this latest journey.
I have no idea what I am doing. As I research more and more on diet mentality, diet culture, intuitive eating, body positivity, body neutrality, I realize I know nothing.
And I feel like I'm playing a little bit of The Hokey Pokey. You know, 1 foot in and 1 foot out? Because this sh*t is hard. The unlearning a life time of "stuff" is really hard.
And I’m wondering am I even going to be able to help others with all of this? I’m not an expert. I’m just a mom realizing all the wrong that I’ve done and trying to work through it with her teenage daughter.
Major imposter syndrome, for sure.
But then, I can’t help think there’s something kind of special to not having it all figured out and just sharing my research and what’s working for us. So I guess I just wanna say thank you for sticking with me while I sort through all this research and try different things with Mia to see what’s going to help.
I feel like I have to be honest though, this is all very scary. For Mia, and me. But, the fact that it's so scary for Mia is what breaks my heart AND keeps me moving forward at the same time.
One thing that I'm learning is that nutrition isn’t as big of a part to our health as I thought. Especially, when obsessing over food and what to eat can be such a stressor. That stress is worse for our health than just eating the darn hamburger and french fries.
And maybe to some degree I kind of knew this, because I’m always searching out more joy and happiness and it seems like that’s what’s the most important, when it comes to our health. Being happy with who we are, in our bodies, but also finding joy in the food we eat. There’s no denying that there are certain foods that make us happy. Food CAN NOT just be fuel. There, I said it.
And every single celebration revolves around food. Heck even every single non-celebration revolves around food. So, why shouldn't we eat foods that make us happy? Of course it's still important to eat variety and colors and blah blah blah, but it really does go back to the old adage, "everything in moderation".
So, I’m still sifting through lots and lots of research and data, trying to come to terms with all of it and just trying to do better.
I am realizing that as much as I didn’t mean to be, I was very focused on how I looked, even though I strongly believed in mindset transformations as well.
But, I wonder if I didn’t have some form of orthorexia- defined as "an obsession with eating foods that one considers healthy."
I didn’t realize that my “lifestyle” and "nutrition plans" were just diet culture and a diet with a new title.
I’ve never been inauthentic, though. I truly believed I was doing right by me and my family. So now I can’t help but think of Maya Angelou’s quote- "Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better."
So once again, thank you for continuing to stick with me, support me, follow me, and just be interested in being better too.
"Zoinks! It's the creepy coin collector again!" Shaggy exclaimed.
Only, I feel ike it should say, Zoinks! It's that damned diet culture again!
I feel like Velma, pulling the mask off "Wellness Culture" and realizing it’s been Diet culture all along! Does that make sense?
Don't get me wrong, I am very much into health promotion, but I'm realizing wellness culture is just diet culture with a mask on, with it's food rules and "don't eat that, eat this" bull crap.
I'm realizing that wellness culture is like diet culture on steroids. While it has "mostly" moved away from a focus on calories, there are still all the same problems. Somehow, women especially, are still not quite good enough, or thin enough, or fit enough, and so we need to become better. Wellness has become yet another expectation and impossible standard to live up to.
I realize there's kind of a pendulum here, where I'm going to have to swing to the total opposite dierction before landing somewhere in the middle. And I appreciate you hanging in there with me.
In my last post I mentioned my "grappling" with how to serve better. And I think I'm very close to figuring it out. But, I wanted to clarify some things. Am I still a Beachbody coach? Sure. I still have my community where I help motivate and inspire women to be their best selves. But, I will no longer ask these ladies to rate their nutrition on a scale, because there is no such thing as perfect. And that didn't make me feel good, so the last thing I want is to make someone else feel "less than" in any way. I still love the workouts though, and most of what the company stands for, with just a few things that don't align with my new way of anti-diet thinking. Wellness has always been my goal. But, as I expressed last month, my daughter Mia made me see things differently. My so-called “healthy lifestyle” (which I was adamant was NOT a DIET) was not serving her or my other 2 girls. She's really opened my eyes to what diet culture has done to all of us and I’m not afraid to admit I’ve been very wrong. So, now I’m trying to right that wrong and have some things planned...think a course in mindset combined with Intuitive Eating Principles to help end diet mentality for good.
Mia and I are still working through the IE workbook, but with these principles and some mindset work, I think I've got something good. No, great, actually.
I’ve always been an advocate for "Strong" or "Fit" not skinny but now I’m going for more "health at any size", which is actually a trademark, so don't come for me ;). For so long, because of weight stigma, especially in the medical world, we’ve been told that being overweight equals unhealthy and thin is good. However everybody’s body is different. We have different bone structures and different heights, not to mention different races have different body types, and all the things that the BMI does not actually take into consideration. Which, by the way, BMI actually means nothing. It is based on an equation from the early 1800's that was primarily used for White European men. It is definitely not a representative sample of the general population, by any stretch. So, don't pay much attention to it.
So, I hope you will continue to follow me as I bring this course together and to life! Until next time, wishing you so much health, joy, and love <3
I actually don't love the word struggle. So let's say I've been grappling with how to serve more women this year besides fitness programs and meal plans. And I feel like I'm close to figuring it out. Here's what's been going on in my head...
One thing I've prided myself on is being done with diet culture for the past 5 years. But if I'm being honest, thinking of foods as "bad or off limits" and having a meal "plan" or measuring portions is still like a diet. I started thinking about this when Mia, my 15 year old, told me about her anxiety around the food we would encounter when we were in Disney, after Christmas. And I realized, I've done this to her. She has a fear of food. She doesn't trust herself with certain foods, because I don't trust myself with certain foods. So, I've started learning about Intuitive eating and will teach this to my girls. This is truly the antithesis to diet culture. To truly love yourself, you must trust yourself.
I also listened to the book More Than a Body and I have a lot of thoughts on this. I appreciate all that these women put into this book, but there are parts of it that I just can't get on board with. As a society, do we put too much emphasis on our looks? One hundred percent yes! Do we associate thin with healthy? Guilty. Do women take things too far with plastic surgery? Absolutely! BUT. But, don't tell me that a manicure shouldn't be called self care or that women shouldn't wear make up because society tells us we should wear it. I like wearing make up. And while there are plenty of days where I don't and I will certainly leave the house without it, when I wear make up it's for me, not for anybody else.
So, back to how I want to serve women this year? Well, I especially want to serve women with daughters. Once I figure it out, I'd love to help other women love themselves, trust themselves, and have a good relationship with food, and then be the best example for their girls. Because I sure have made some mistakes and need to help my 15 year old before she has to go through her life fearing food and living in the world of diet culture.
For some reason, I've felt called to share my manifesting journey, so here goes... It started late in 2020 when I listened to Gabby Bernstein's Super Attractor. From there, I fell in love and wanted more, and then listened to The Universe Has Your Back. Then, I was hooked and found Sara Prout;s manifest podcast in the beginning of 2021. I started listening to everything I could. I started to get aligned, see signs and synchronicities everywhere.
My favorite story was when I was learning about spirit guides. I was on my way to get my first Covid shot and I got stuck in traffic. I started thinking about trusting in the universe and my spirit guide to get me to the fairgrounds in time for my appt. I thought, "if only I knew my spirit guide's name." Right at that moment the song Oh Sherrie, by Steve Perry came on the radio. I thought, "could it be?" but kind of blew it off b/c it was a radio station that would play that song. So, I got to the fairgrounds and there was no line. I walked right up and was directed to a lane (there were many lanes). I sat down and the nurse said "hi, my name is Sherrie". What? I kid you not. Coincidence? I'm learning there are no coincidences.
So, I got home and was telling Mia. But, still being new at manifesting, and being a skeptic, I said to Mia, "if only I knew for sure my spirit guide's name was Sherrie..." As I said that, Mia told me to stop questioning it. Not even 5 minutes later the phone rang. I said "geez we're getting a lot of spam calls lately." Then we heard it. The caller ID announced "call from... Sherrie." Shut the front door, I am not even kidding. So, one of my spirit guide's name is Sherrie. No more doubting it.
So, that was my first major sign or synchronicity. Next, I asked for an actual sign. I specifically asked for white feathers as a sign. And don't you know I started seeing them. Then, I was wondering what my spirit animal might be. I was seeing a lot of butterflies and dragonflies but still wondered. Until I saw a turtle while on a walk. This was a box turtle, but sea turtles have become a big sign for me.
Next came the angel numbers. I started seeing the same numbers, a lot of 444, 333, 1111, and then sometimes 123, 1234, or 234. All signs that angels are there and you're headed in the right direction.
Since reading Gabby Bernstein's books, I also listen to her podcast all the time, I read from Sara Prout's Dear Universe nightly, and am now listening to Inner Glimpse by Idel Ahmed, and next on the list is Manifest Now by her as well.
The most recent synchronicity is Ella recently got admitted to SCAD in Savanna, GA. While on the way to and from the office last week I was thinking of her going away and worrying about whether it was right. Not that the school isn't a perfect fit for her, but it's just so far away. Well, on both the way in and home from the office that day I got behind a car with GA license plates. We live in MD so this was definitely a wink from the universe. Or, at least I see it that way. See, I'm realizing the signs are everywhere for all of us, it's just a matter of whether we want to see them or not. Whether we want to believe or not.
I am choosing to believe. I am choosing love over fear, abundance over scarcity. I am learning that gratitude and loving oneself is so key, because the happier you are, the more you attract happiness. And the more you appreciate all the abundance in your life, the more abundant you become.